Monday I went on  job interview. The purpose of these things is to see if you will be a good fit. In my whole life I have never been a good fit for anything and yet I have managed to find jobs and work very happily. Bottom line – I am looking for work and you have a job opening so just hire me damn it. No , they have to ask you stupid questions. The drug screens and background checks I get – but the stupid questions.

My favorite is ” Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?”. Now how the hell do I know, at my age it could be dead. How would they feel then? Or another popular one ” Why did you choose to apply at this company?” . Let’s see, I need a job and there was a job opening at that particular company. Connect the dots. I mean odds are I had never heard of that company before, let alone bothered to apply there if I didn’t need a job. And you are supposed to answer these questions very sincerely. Wonder how they would react if you said ” Are you friggin kidding me? What a stupid question – next”.

And then they ask for references. Preferably past co-workers or bosses. Fine now tell me, who is going to give them the name of someone who will say something negative about them? I mean what a waste of time. I had one HR person tell me very excitedly ” Your references were very complimentary and spoke highly of you”. Well duh, that’s because they wanted to still be around the next time I needed them for a reference.

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